Princes of the Caribbean or Pirates of Stormhold
by Constance Volrune
Summary: What if the Stormhold ruby hadn't knocked Yvaine out of the heavens? What if, instead it went east? And a certain pirate lord heard of its value? Septimus and Primus must travel much further  farther ?  to retrieve the stone and become king.
1. Chapter 1

Three figures stand around a deathbed. The room has grand interior, suggesting that the dying man is of high importance. Behind him, four ghostly shadows of grotesquely wounded men stand watching in silence. Above the old man, a colorless gem attached to a gold chain hovers.

"Only he of royal blood can restore the ruby. And the one of you who does so shall be the new king of Stormhold," he said. With his final breath, the ruby flies out the window.

The oldest man turned to the other two. "I suggest we head out tomorrow. We have to see to our father's burial after all."

"Primus, I should have been crowned king by now. Do you really think that I want to wait around any longer?"

Primus closed his eyes, usually patience came easily to him, but his youngest brother was really pushing him. "Septimus, you know as well as I do that we must at least see the old king to state. Tertius, you agree don't you?"

Septimus gave the third brother a withering look. "Well…" Tertius began, shooting a nervous glance at his younger brother. "Yes. I mean, no. That is," he cleared his throat. "We should probably see him to state." He ducked out of the room suddenly, leaving the other two alone.

The darker prince set his eyes on the horizon.

"There's no telling where it went."

"I can tell."

Primus waited expectantly.

"If you think I'm going to tell you, you're a fool," Septimus said and left, leaving Primus to deal with their father's dead body.

The four ghosts move over to the window. The living prince however did not notice them.

"I'll bet you Septimus gets to it first," the one with the squashed face said.

Another, with a hatchet buried in his head answered, "Ok, Secundus, I'll take you up on that bet. I think Primus will win. Who do you think will win, Sextus?"

"Well, I think- Oh, you two are mad! That's what I think. What are we to bet? Days in purgatory?"

The first two ghosts nod at each other reasonably. They hadn't thought about it before, but now that their brother mentioned it, that was a good idea.

"H-honestly, I-I-I c-can't s-see how you c-can all talk of s-such tittle-tattle. Our father is dead. We should be m-mourning him."

The others looked skeptically at their frozen-to-death brother. "Father only held a memorial service for you. He didn't respect our deaths, so I see no reason to respect his," the charred one, Sextus, said matter-of-factly.

"And stop chattering, we know you can't actually feel anything," Quintus, the one with the hatchet in his skull, said.

Quartus huffed, "Sometimes, I do happen to catch a chill." All pretenses of being frozen vanished.

"What?" Secundus scoffed. "When you're dead?" The others all had a laugh at his expense.

"So where do you think it went?" he asked, wanting to change the subject.  
"East, I'd say," Sextus commented.

"South," Secundus challenged.

"East."

"South."

"I think it went northwest," Quintus said, just to be difficult.

Quartus groaned. "Never mind. You guys are idiots. Why couldn't I have been stuck with Primus? Instead I'm dead with you three ninnies!"

The ghosts continued to bicker, while their oldest living brother left the room to get some servants to help bring the dead king into state.


	2. Chapter 2

Jack stood at the helm of his ship, the Black Pearl, singing his favorite song. "…Really bad eggs." His face became thoughtful. "Always thought I made good eggs. No one's ever complained to me before about how I cooked my eggs. Gibbs!"

A man with graying hair tied back in a pigtail and the becomings of a beer belly hurried up to his captain. "Aye, Cap'n?"

"Mr. Gibbs," Jack drawled. "Do you think," he paused, "that I make bad eggs?"

Gibbs frowned, confused. "N-no, Cap'n? That is to say," he grinned, "I've never known you to even know how to cook!" Jack's face fell.

"Very well, Mr. Gibbs. Next time we get to port, we shall order eggs. And I shall make you some eggs. And we will get chickens too. Lots of chickens!" He leaned in towards Gibbs, conspiratorially and said in a lower voice, "So as to make," he made an odd gesture with his hand, "the eggs."

Mr. Gibbs smiled and nodded then said, "Aye, Cap'n. Eggs, we shall have." He went off smiling, but as soon as his captain was out of view, he shook his head in wonderment. Still, Jack was a good friend, and one should never question a good friend's sanity.

Satisfied with having had the egg bit cleared up, Jack opened his special compass. The one that pointed him to wherever his deepest desire lay. The little arrow spun and came to a rest, pointing at…him?

Good God, I'm not a eunuch! Jack thought with horrified revulsion. He looked around to make sure no one had seen this. Directly behind him was a bottle of rum. Oh. He took a swig and tried again. This time the arrow spun around crazily. This thing was so infuriating!

"I know what I want. I know what I want. I know what I want!" he chanted to himself. He opened it. Still spinning. No wait, it stopped! … At the rum again. He'd try again later.

"Pintel! Ragetti!" Jack shouted. A short, round pirate who was bald on the top of his head with greasy strands running around the perimeter slid down the mast.

"Yes, Cap'n?"

Jack appraised him thoughtfully, slapped his hands on his knees and stood. "Where's your one-eyed friend?"

"He's busy swabbing the deck, sir."

"As should you be!" When Pintel didn't move, Jack made a shooing gesture. "Go on, make sure my ship is clean."

The shorter pirate gave his captain an odd look then shrugged and went to help his friend.

Back in his room, Jack tapped the lid of his compass. "Come on. Come on. Work!" Spin.

What did he want most? Hmm. Right now, surprisingly nothing came to mind. Gold was out of the question, as he feared that the tempting metal would curse him. Diamonds were over done. Pearls, well, he already had his pearl. The sea was his sapphire. How about red? Yes, something red.

"Rubies are red," he said aloud to himself. "And shiny." That settled it, his most desperate desire was now to own the world's largest ruby. The arrow spun and pointed northwest.

"Gibbs!" he shouted again.

Gibbs came to the open door. "Aye, Cap'n?"

Jack grinned. "We have our heading."


	3. Chapter 3

"I didn't think that I was king," Primus said tersely.

Septimus, had to choke down another wave of laughter. "No, of course you didn't."

"And I didn't kill the bishop," he grunted. As it was now down to the final two, both princes were taking no chances of letting a servant touch their possessions. Maybe I'll give a raise to palace servants. Primus thought to himself. Who knew they had to do this much lifting?

Septimus leaned against the banister and watched his older brother struggle to get a ridiculously large trunk up the stairs. He had no idea why he would need so much stuff when he was going on a journey, nor was he really interested. "You did take the wrong cup."

Primus slammed down the trunk. The younger prince's eyebrows shot up. His brother rarely got this anger – or at least hardly ever showed the emotion. "And a good thing too! Because you poisoned it!"

"Yes, and I'll have to be more careful next time. Do it myself. So that that way, I won't have to argue with who killed who again!" He got out his dagger and proceeded to wipe at it.

"You're a nuisance," Primus muttered. He picked up his trunk and started up the stairs again, but not before a booted foot stopped him.

"Then kill me," Septimus dared, staring down at his brother. "Kill me, brother. What? Too afraid?" He removed his foot and went down the stairs.

When he turned the corner, the older prince took the trunk up to his rooms. After a few minutes he said to no one in particular, "I'm not afraid. But I think you are… of something."

"Your highness," a servant materialized behind Primus.

Primus, sensing the worst, got his sword out. "Stay where you are," he warned.

An elderly man stopped with raised hands. When Primus realized who it was he put his weapon away.

"You're sure you want to do this?"

"Yes," was the gravelly reply.

"Even at the risk of your life?"

There was a slight pause, then the old man bowed deeply. "I would die a thousand deaths for you to become king, my prince."

Primus nodded. "Very well, Soothsayer. My brother will be leaving soon. I believe he is out in the stables. Good luck."

"And to you, Prince Primus." He bowed low again, and left.

The prince went over to the trunk. Inside were all the supplies he thought he'd need. Septimus may be right that traveling light is best in the case of moving quickly. But Primus wouldn't need to do any moving. After all, the fastest way to travel is by candlelight.

He dug in his pocket to retrieve it. Something as valuable as a Babylon candle could not be left unattended. It wasn't there. A slight sweat began to take form on his upper lip. He chuckled nervously to himself. It must be in the other pocket. Not there.

Soon he was down to his underclothes, searching his coat, pants, and shirt. Empty. Then he went about his room.

There was a knock at the door and someone came in.

"What do you want?" Primus nearly sobbed. He sounded like he was choking.

"Uh…" The soothsayer looked at his prince with much less respect than before. "Your highness, you're…?"

Primus cleared his throat and covered himself as best he could. "Yes, yes. What is it? I thought you were going with Septimus?"

The old man seemed much relieved to have something to talk about and take his eyes off of his undignified prince. "That's just it. He's gone. Couldn't find him. He wasn't in the stables.

The prince frowned. The sweat began to pour over his whole being. "Do have your Runes on you?" he asked in a quaking voice.

"Yes."

"May I?" the prince held out his hand and the soothsayer dropped four tiny pieces of what could be fairly called bones into it.

Primus cupped his hands whispered a question into them and dropped them on the floor, where they all landed face up.

"No!" he cried, falling to his knees and dropping his coverings in the process. "How could that be?"

"What? What's happened?" the older man asked.

The prince looked up at his servant and friend. His eyes, in shock like the rest of him, did not register that anyone was there though.

"What is it?" he asked again, coming to stand closer to his prince.

"He- he has the Babylon candle. Septimus. He took it. How the bloody hell did he get it?"


	4. Chapter 4

Septimus smiled to himself. It had been way to easy to get the candle away from his older brother. He knew that Primus was over trusting – gullible in fact. But he would have never guessed that he would still act as such when the competition for the throne was much more heightened now than ever before.

Still, if Primus wanted to be all friendly with everyone, that was his problem. Now the only problem that remained was to see how he would use it. He definitely wanted his men with him, but that would be difficult with the candle. Unless, maybe they all held hands?

He tried picturing it. Nope. Out of the question.

Maybe he should just use it now before he lost his nerve. He'd never used anything with dark magic before. And witches and their wares were often unreliable. However, he'd heard good things about this strange candle.

There'd be side effects no doubt. The instructions were to think of something, and to be very specific. Light the candle. And presto! You're there. But where was there exactly? What if he did that and ended up in a volcano?

"Hmm…"

"Your highness?" a jumpy lackey answered.

"What?" Septimus snapped.

"Wha-? Oh, noth-," he remembered in time that time wasters were fired, or rather stabbed. "I mean, the men and I…" the rest of the group gave him dirty looks. "That is to say, I…" the other men looked away now. "was wondering where we were headed, sir."

Septimus gave him a withering glare. "Did I not make it clear as to where we were going? The runes say that I'm right. Southeast is the direction to go."

"Told you," said Quintus.

"What are we doing here? I thought we were backing Primus to be king?" Sextus wrung his hands.

"Yes, well," Secundus said, "That was before he lost his Babylon candle wasn't it?"

Sextus huffed and looked over his living brother's shoulder. Ah, how much braver one feels once they are dead!

Quartus narrowed his eyes at Quintus. "You thought the stone went northwest."

"Yes," Quintus said.

Quartus shook his head disbelievingly, "So, you just said that you were right, and Septimus and the runes say that southeast is the way to go."

"Yeah, but wherever the stone is at, it was headed from a northwest direction."

Secundus gave his younger brother a pitying glance. "You don't make any sense. Septimus must have hit you one too many times with that hatchet."

Tertius, still not accustomed to be dead, started laughing hysterically.

"You on the other hand… how'd you die?"

"No, wait," Quartus held up a hand. "Let me guess. Septimus?" Tertius didn't answer. His younger brother continued to inspect him. "Poison?"

Tertius started moaning.

Sextus rejoined them. "Septimus is going to use the Babylon candle! He isn't taking his men with him."

The other three ghosts gave him blank stares. "Do you think it's possible for a ghost to go with him?" Secundus asked.

"Let's all go with him," Quintus suggested. They ignored him.

"I want to go back to the castle and see how Primus is faring," Sextus said decisively. They ignored him too.

"Only one way to find out," Quartus said, hurrying over to his living brother.

Septimus was in his tent. Most of his men, besides the ones on guard had gone to sleep. The candle was new. As long as the stone hadn't gone too far, he would be able to go get it and come back to the castle. The only issue remaining would be Primus, but that could be dealt with easily.

As far as he could tell he was alone. Little did he know that his dead brothers were about to jump him.

He got out a light, and thought really hard about where he wanted to go: as close to the stone as possible without being in danger. Septimus wasn't sure about the specifics, but he hoped that this magical light would know what he wanted. The flame touched the wick and he was gone.

"Well, it didn't work," Quintus said.

"Good," Sextus snapped. "Now can we go back to the castle? Primus may already have left."

"Does that even matter? Septimus is closer to the stone," Secundus pointed out.

"That doesn't mean anything though," Quartus noted.

They waited for the third brother to say something, but he was still in shock.

Secundus sighed. As oldest it was his decision. "Fine, let's go back to the castle."


	5. Chapter 5

"We don't sell eggs," the man repeated.

"Well, it seems to me," Jack said. "That you would sell eggs here."

The heavy-set man rolled his eyes. "Why? What would give you that idea? I own pigs, eh? Not bloody chickens!"

Jack smiled at the man. "And pigs don't lay eggs?"

The man gave him a strange look. "Um…No? No they don't."

The pirate leaned in towards him and put a hand on his shoulder. "All. Animals lay eggs, mate." He patted the man. "Remember that. Next time I'm in this port I shall expect some eggs, Mr. … uh… whoever you are!" And he returned to his ship.

"Did yeh get the eggs, Cap'n?" Ragetti asked.

"No, Cyclops, I did not." He pulled out his gun. "Where's that damned monkey? I want to shoot something." He appraised one-eyed pirate. "Unless you'd like to volunteer?"

"Here, monkey. Here, boy." Ragetti went about as best he could calling after the pirate monkey.

"Gibbs!"

"Aye, Cap'n." How was it that he was always there?

"There were no eggs."

"Yes, I heard. But I trust you all the same Cap'n."

"What are you standing about for?" Jack asked, as if noticing the fatter pirate for the first time. "Get to work! Hoist the anchor! Let's get out of this port and on to my treasure!"

The crew stopped and stared at him. "Er… _Our_ treasure."

They shouted and continued their chores. That was the good thing about having uneducated people work for you. They were easy to convince.

_Note: Sorry for having such short chapters… Hopefully it's just because I'm new to fanfiction._


End file.
